


How Can You Forgive Him?

by storybored



Series: The reason people can't have nice things (Arrowverse) [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Hey look John doesn't show up once, M/M, Nambung National Park, Post Lian Yu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 19:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storybored/pseuds/storybored
Summary: How can you forgive him for what he did to you? What he did to us?





	How Can You Forgive Him?

Joe sighed feeling the sun on him, he buried his head into Gray’s shoulder, it was far too early to wake up. He didn’t want to leave the bed. Gray rolled over resting his head on Joe’s chest,”Morning.”

Joe hummed and traced the cross tattoo on Gray’s side,”Hey baby.”

Gray kissed Joe, and rolled away checking his phone for the weather,”It’s nice out, what do you feel like doing? Shit.”

Joe looked up at his boyfriend concerned,”Everything okay?”

Gray nodded absently, his brow was furrowed”Yeah, it’s just... my sister invited us to Sunday dinner. Tonight.”

“Which sister?” Joe sat up, he knew the baggage that came with Gray’s family, with his father. Joe’s family was complicated with all the baggage that followed his mother.

“Calliope. The one who got the robin tattoo with me.” Gray said leaning against his boyfriend,”I want to go, but my father will be there and that never ends well.”

Joe was silent for a moment,”So go, be the proud sexy spy I know you are. Rub in his face that you’re happy, that you’re an integral part of ASIS.”   
“Can’t exactly tell my family I’m 007.” Gray said smiling slightly.

“They know you’re a soldier. And a valued one at that.” Joe said kissing the side of Gray’s neck,”I wouldn’t be here without you. We should go, it’s free food. ”

Gray let out a self conscious half laugh but didn’t say anymore on the topic of his family,”You are so easy.”

Joe grinned against Gray’s shoulder,”You love it.”

Gray wrinkled his nose and jokingly mused,”Do I?”

Joe made an offended noise and a half hearted grab for Gray as he climbed out of bed. Joe made no attempt to follow him into the bathroom instead leaning against the cool bars of the headboard, it was his first day truly off in the past five months. He didn’t want to even think about ASIS today. If he didn’t have to work early tomorrow he would’ve gone camping but spending the day at home sounded kind of nice. A rarity as both Gray and him were prone to getting cabin fever when not on mission. 

Joe’s phone rang, an annoyingly bland and professional tone, breaking him out of his musings. Joe didn’t have to glance at the caller ID to figure out who it was. Even his mother didn’t call him when he wasn’t working, he answered the phone as Gray poked his head back through the bedroom door confused,”Director DeForge. How can I help you?”

Wade’s voice was irritated and that made Joe uncomfortable, that was the tone his voice took when Wade talked about his father or his uncle,”ASIS Medbay, 30 minutes.”

The phone hung up before Joe could request more information. He couldn’t help the surge of panic that went through him, he dialed another number, and was relieved when it was picked up after the second ring,”Mother?”

Adeline’s voice softened,”Habibi, is everything alright?” 

“Yeah, Wade just gave me a weird call about coming into work and I, well…” Joe trailed off rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. 

Adeline hummed,”Got concerned over me, it’s all right, Habibi. Glad to know you have my back. Well, I need to go into work anyway, so could we meet up for lunch and talk about it. I’ll see you in a bit?”

Joe nodded,”Yeah, see you in a bit, I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Gray sat down at the edge of the bed,”Kane? Is everything okay?” 

Joe shrugged,”The Director called, wants me to go in today.”

“Want me to go with you?”

Joe nodded, he was far too nervous to drive. If his mother wasn’t injured, it could be Rose. And that would have meant that he failed at his job to protect her, to keep her safe like he promised his godfather he would.

Gray made himself scarce after they met up with the Director, some excuse about double checking their gear. Joe checked their gear himself before he left work yesterday. It was perfectly fine. There was nothing left to check, but he wasn’t going to force Gray to stay when Gray didn’t really like Deforge to begin with.

Wade put a hand on Joe’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly,”Thank you for coming so quickly, Joe, Son, you’d want to see this. We found him off the Philipine coast, barely conscious, muttering someone’s name, Oliver. I want you to ask him about it when he wakes up. He’ll listen to you, you’re his son after all.”

Joe’s eyes widened,”You found my father?”   
Wade gestured to the medbay,”He’s in there. Son, go easy on him.”

Joe tugged up his hoodie sleeves and saw his father alive, twitching as if he was having a bad dream, he had a bandage wrapped around his head and over his eye. Joe’s voice was gentle and full of hope,”Father?”

Slade turned his head to look at him, he spoke disbelieving and hoarse. Joe forgot what his voice sounded like,”Joe?”

Joe nodded and slowly approached the bed,”How are you feeling?”

“How did I get here?” A Reasonable question if the last thing he remembered was Lian Yu. 

“Evac found you washed up on the Philippine coast. They said you were barely conscious. Just muttering someone’s name, Oliver. Who’s he?” 

Slade started to shudder and his hand brushed over his eye. Joe got concerned, he didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. He sat on the hospital bed grabbing his father’s hand,”Father?”

Slade took a shaky breath,”S-someone that owed me a debt.”

Joe felt like crying because his dad was there, alive. He came back. He knew his father would come back no matter what, no matter what his uncle said,”Everyone left you for dead, but I’d knew you’d come back.”

Slade's face twisted as his voice broke,”I will never leave you again Joe.”

Joe burst into tears and pulled his father into a hug, burying his face into his father’s chest like he did when he was little. Joe didn’t know how long they stayed like that before he heard the Medbay doors slide open and a musical voice spoke,”I see someone tried to fix that ugly mug you call a face.

Joe sat up smiling at his mother, Slade gave her a weak smile,” Addie.”

Adeline sat on the right side of her husband grabbing his bandaged hand,” I’m glad you’re not dead.”

Slade smiled slightly, squeezing her hand. He had his family, nothing else mattered to him,“Too stubborn to die.”

Adeline put a hand on Joe’s shoulder,”Habibi, could you let me and your father speak alone for a moment?”

Joe nodded and stood up pointing to the door, “I’m gonna go...somewhere else.”

Adeline watched as her son legged it out of the medbay to probably go find Gray, Slade watched his son disappear down the hallway”How long has he been in it?”

Adeline looked at Slade that mildly angry but amused look she always had when Joe did something she didn’t like that he learned from Slade,”Joined the army as soon as he possibly could. Signed on with ASIS as soon as he complete his basic training. Top of his class.”

Slade smiled slightly,”Just like his old man.”   
“An idiot?” Adeline asked innocently receiving a scowl in return,”He joined to make you proud. Make us proud.”

Slade tugged Adeline onto his chest,”I’ve always been proud of him.”

“He doesn’t listen. He just wants to be perfect for us, not realizing we already see him as such.”

* * *

 

Joe fiddled with his glasses case. Gray sat across from his head resting on his hands, Joe wasn’t meeting his eyes,”You can’t laugh okay?”

Gray looked a little amused at Joe’s nervousness, putting a hand on Joe’s chin tilting it so their eyes met,” Kane, why would I laugh at you?”

Joe made a skeptical face,” Could you close your eyes for a second please?”

Gray couldn’t help but laugh: Alright I’ll humor you.

Gray closed his eyes and slid a hand over his eyes before moving his fingers to peak out of them, Joe caught this and scowled at his boyfriend,”Gray!”

Gray laughed and closed his eyes for real,”Okay, I’m sorry.”

Joe slid on his wire frame glasses and adjusted his tie and button up just so his hands could do something, “You can open them now.”

Grays eyes opened and widened. A smile breaking out on his face, “Oh my god....”

Joe moved to take off the glasses, his voice sullen, ” Yeah, Yeah, I know they’re dorky.”

Gray grabbed Joe’s hand, halting his efforts, “No, no you’re actually kind of hot.”

Joe let go of his glasses, his bright blue eyes widening, “Really?”

Gray leaned forward, moving to straddle Joe, “Yeah, like seriously hot. You look like Superman. Should wear em more often.”

Joe’s hand slid over Gray’s thighs absently, looking up at him coyly,” Deal. So glasses and me sweaty after working out? That’s what does it for you?”

Gray pulled Joe up by his tie, into a deep passionate kiss. Joe let out a discontent noise when Gray pulled away breathlessly, “You have no idea.”

* * *

 

Joe was sitting in his office looking curiously at the blood on his hands not because he didn’t know how it got there, well he did but he didn’t. He was hit hard and he shouldn’t have taken his anger out on his father but he was surprised and that mixed with the adrenaline from sparring always ended well. He should’ve waited until after the training session to give him the rum but when it came to Wilsons they didn’t stop training until they were exhausted,”What the hell you think was gonna happen?”

Joe looked up when the door opened seeing Gray standing in the doorway, Gray was leaning against the door frame,”So here’s where you’re hiding out.”

Joe hid his hand under the desk as Gray walked into the office, he knew he was being childish but it hurt damn it,”I’m not hiding, I have paperwork to do.”

Gray sat on the edge of the desk his gaze flickering to Joe’s hands,”Clearly. A little bird told me a sparring match went awry.”

Joe rolled his eyes,”Harkness needs to keep his mouth shut.”

Gray gave a fake laugh,”Your father told me actually, he was in the cafeteria sulking. Now I’m only going to ask once, how bad is it?”

Joe looked up at his boyfriend innocently,”I don’t know what you're talking about?”

Gray leaned forward to kiss Joe biting his lower lip, causing Joe to let out an annoyed hiss. Gray pulled away from him,”Your hand, Joseph.”

Joe shot Gray a placating smile, he was only called Joseph when he was in trouble. And he doubted that this would typically end as well as it usually did when they were at home. He held up his bloody injured hand up for Gray to see. Gray took his hand gingerly, seeing how bad the wound was,”It’s not that bad.”

Gray prodded around the wound, the blood made it look larger them it was,”You’ll need a few stitches. Where’s your kit?”

Joe reached down into one of the file drawers pulling out a first aid kit and a bottle of Bakery Hill Cask Strength. Gray waited for Joe to take a pull from the bottle before he began to tend to the wound. Joe was silent, absently drinking from the bottle while he watched Gray stitch up and bandage his hand,”Thanks… I’m sorry I was being a dick.”

Gray pressed a kiss to Joe’s bandaged palm,”It’s cute that you think that that’s being a dick. Now gimme some of that.”

Joe grabbed the bottle from Gray, shoving it back into the drawer,” Or we could go home. Start preparing for the camping trip up to Nambung in a few weeks?”

Gray knew that look well and moved from his spot on the desk into Joe’s lap. He palmed at Joe’s crotch squeezing slightly, causing Joe to stiffen underneath him,”Are you sure it’s the camping trip you want to go home to?”

Joe’s eyes flickered from Gray’s hand to his lips, staying silent. Gray responded by squeezing him tighter, causing him to whine and bury his head in Gray’s chest. Joe knew the pressure causing him to squirm would keep getting stronger until he answered Gray,”No, you. I want you.”

Gray smiled releasing Joe and kissing him gently,”Now was that so hard?”

Joe dropped his head on his desk as Gray stood up,”I hate you.”

Gray laughed,”I love you too.”

* * *

 

Joe was quiet laying against Gray as they watched the meteor shower. Gray felt the ring box in his pocket, smooth cool wood, Joe turned his head slightly so he could kiss Gray’s cheek,”You’ve been twitchy all week, what’s going on?”

Gray shrugged,”Just got some extra energy. That’s all.”

Joe made a sound of disbelief and rested his head on Gray’s collar bone,”Camping under the stars is nice. We should do it more.”

Gray pressed a kiss to Joe’s neck,”You just like sex outdoors.”

Joe laughed,”I am not ashamed.”

“I know hence why we’re parked in the middle of nowhere.”

Joe leaned forward hoping out of the truck bed,”I’m gonna grab the thermos, want anything?”

“Yeah, grab me the blanket, eh?”

Joe squinted at him but started to rifle through the cab of the truck tossing Gray the flannel blanket, he climbed back into the truck bed and cracked the thermos open taking a sip and making a surprised face at the taste,”Hot chocolate and Malibu?”

Gray shrugged,”I wanted hot alcohol and we still had half a bottle left. Couldn’t let it go to waste.”

Joe rolled his eyes and crawled back into Gray’s lap, grinding his hips into Gray’s lap,”How lovely.”

Gray let out a quiet moan, and gripped Joe’s hips stopping him,”I have a question to ask you.”

Joe froze and looked up at Gray nervous, he tried to downplay his fears,”What’s up?”

“We’ve been dating for awhile, and I know we both kind of accepted that we may not get a tomorrow, but I want to spend the rest of my life if you’ll have me. I want to wake up to you, and have a future like one of those stupid romcoms Rose made us watch.” Gray sighs pushing his hand through his hair frustratedly, his voice was nervous. He pulled out the ring box, opening it for Joe,”Will you marry me?”

Joe’s eyes widened and a large smile broke out across his face, lighting up his features,”Yeah, fuck. Of course I will. Never even had to ask.”

Joe turned around and kissed Gray, nipping at his bottom lip trying to get access to his mouth. Gray pushed Joe onto his back, Joe wrapped his legs around Gray’s hips. Gray moaned as Joe rolled his hips, Gray’s voice was breathy,”We should do this more often.”

Joe blindly fumbled for Gray’s belt, arching his back slightly as Gray bit his neck, his voice was a sweet high whine,”Gray? Please.”

Gray stopped grinding his hips against Joe, holding his hips down so he couldn’t move,”Please what?”

Joe dropped his head against the truck bed in frustration, his voice a breathy growl,”Fuck me.”

Gray gave a rakish grin tugging off Joe’s pants,”With pleasure.”

* * *

 

Kane sat in a darkened corner of a bar nursing the headache his father gave him. The green eyed ghost was sitting next to him, staring into his soul, God he hated this fucking place. The Kasnia job was done without a hitch, just needed to be reset. If you wanted something done properly you had to do it yourself. Couldn’t rely on anyone.

The only place that was worse than Gotham, Gotham has exactly one redeeming factor his beautiful cousin who he absolutely adored and treated as a little sister even though she was eight months older than him. 

Star fucking city, damn this place to hell. Why would you rename a place because it-“You know exactly why they renamed Star City, you tried that same trick. Tell me Joseph, how's it working out for you?”

Kane slammed his head against the back wall shattering the bottle in his hand, luckily his little melt down went unnoticed. He signaled the bartender for another drink as he growled at Gray,”Shut up.”

“You know I’m right.” Gray slid his hand over Kane’s chest resting on the pair of dog tags and wedding rings that hung,  _ burned _ , there. 

Kane nodded to the barmaid who brought him his next drink, he looked at Gray,”I don’t know anything, not anymore.”

Gray kissed Kane below his ear before dragging his chin up forcing him to watch the tv,”You know who to blame for all of this.”

If it was anyone else he would’ve jerked away, Kane watched Oliver engage with some street gang and his blood start to boil,”Yes, my father.”

“Who gave your father the mirakuru? Who made it necessary for you to take it? Who cause him to betray you in Kasnia?” Gray brushed his hand up Kane’s thigh causing him to jump slightly. Kane leaned back, he knew what was coming next, thevinyl of the booth creaked as Gray straddled him,”If it wasn’t for Oliver Queen we would be married by know, we’d have a house and have a couple of kids. Remember? Exactly like we talked about.”

Kane put his hand over his mouth as he gagged, he leaned into Gray’s chest,”I’ve never forgotten.”

“Baby, your father replaced you. No other way around it, he was unable to admit he broke you. So he replaces you with a less fucked up model. He decided to stay on Lian Yu for Oliver. He left you for Oliver, he betrayed you for him.”Gray pulls Kane to his chest as Kane starts to quietly cry,”Shhh, shhh. Baby if you want to feel better you need to make your father suffer the same way we suffered. He only cares about Oliver Queen.”

_ Joe whimpered as father forced him to the floors sword against his throat, he was afraid. He didn’t want to die here,”Drop your weapon.” _

_ Joe closed his eyes, he couldn’t watch this. But he had to. Gray’s gun was shaking slightly at the prospect of killing his fiancé’s father. His father turned around staring at Gray levelly. He moved fast. Faster then Gray or Joe ever could. All Joe could do was watch in mute terror as the sword was plunged into his fiancés chest and he was discarded, forgotten about as his father exited the training room. Joe crawled over to gray pulling him into his lap, futilely trying to stop the bleeding. Gray coughed. A fine red mist,”Gray, you’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna be okay.” _

_ Gray coughed again, a wet hacking sound as his lungs filled with blood,”I love you.” _

_ Joe pulled him up so he could breathe, vaguely aware that they were both sobbing,”Don’t leave me. Please don’t go.” _

_ Gray gasped slightly,”Don’t think …...it’s up to me.” _

_ Gray took one last shuddering breath before seizing slightly as the light left his eye, Joe shook him and kissed him trying to get some sort of reaction,”Gray?! Gray? Open your eyes! I-I can’t do it without you.” _

Kane grabbed the knife beside him without a thought trying to figure out where the noise came from. Gray was gone. Again. And Kane felt so very much alone. Kane noticed the man sitting next to him, bald and older. Around his father’s age,”Where’d you serve?”

Kane narrowed his eyes and started to play with the knife, a subtle warning. The man elaborated,”You just remind me of my daughter, she served in the…. Middle East. I’m Quentin, Quentin Lance.”

Kane knew that name he’d met the daughter it belonged to, she was a bitch,”Your daughters were the canaries.”

Quentin froze as Kane’s blue eyes traced over him idly,”Ta-er al-Sahfer.”

Quentin’s face turned into a snarl causing Kane to laugh,”Listen I don’t know if the League put you up to this but Sara is off limits!”

“She’s not who I’m interested in, your boss however needs to learn that his actions have consequences.” Kane smiled at Quentin innocently,”You arrested my father.”

Quentin only arrested one Australian, he regarded the kid levelly,”Slade Wilson. So what you’re going to kill the mayor?”

Kane snorted, sliding out of the booth,”Oliver is the only person my father cares about. He's gonna wish I killed him. Be a mate and pick up the tab, Yeah?”


End file.
